We all know we ought to be khusyuk in all our prayers. But it was during my Isyak prayers in the late hours that I digress through my conversations with a dear friend about fulfilling the one of the five pillars of Islam – Zakat giving alms.
She made a very strong point which somehow made me come to a stunning realization unlike how my Wali always lectured me on Zakat. That conversation lingers even now, in my head. I need to do something about it. Alhamdulillah, for guiding me through YOUR miraculous way.
It has been months since I blog about anything. Lots have happened. Most of it are personal milestones but the recent major surgery – Open Abdominal Myomectomy with Cystectomy – for what was initially thought to be a 4cm fibroid and an ovulation cysts that the gynea was so afraid rupture.
Fortunately or unfortunately, it was half accurate. The ovulation cyst was true. Safely removed. So was the so-called fibroid – just that after the lab report came back, it wasn’t fibroid. It is called ADENOMYOSIS. Told ya it sounded more like some sauce. *Think Mayonaise*
So what is all these medical terms. Basically, an open abdominal myomectomy is a surgery similar to c-sect to deliver babies. But in my case my incision measured approximately 20cm point-to-point. The cut is just above the pubic line – “bikini cut” – probably it still allows me to wear a bikini with the scar hidden.
Anyway, today is my 26th day since the surgery. I am far from my old self in terms of stamina level. I was told that I shouldn’t do any heavy lifting at all. That part pretty much limits so many things I cannot do. Like a whole damn lot of it. I still dare not drive my car because everybody said no. I walked a fair 20minutes and I felt like I ran a mile. I’m not at all looking forward to going back to work because on-and-off, the pain kicks in and getting in and out of bed still takes a while. So I wasn’t sure how work gonna make me feel.
I’m just not at my optimum both physically & mentally. My mind is in a stall mode and I can’t seem to stop reading about adenomyosis. So many questions in my mind I wish I could just call on Dr Low for coffee and discuss this. *I wish*
Probably in my future posting I shall detail out my fast-forward journey which ended up with this surgery. One moment I was on a day of leave. And the next moment, to and fro the hospital. I am glad and thankful it went smooth, by grace of ALLAH. ALHAMDULILLAH
Thankful to Dr Brenda Low for taking good care of me. Nurse Winnie who always welcomes me at the clinic. And especially my Mama who is my premium care giver. My own personal nurse, my Aunt Norma. Of coz my family and friends, for their endless prayers.
After surgery I was warded in Gleneagles Maternity ward ( Ward 5 East ). SEEMS ODD? Not at all! As I had mentioned Myomectomy is like c-sect. Therefore, maternity ward nurses are the best care givers. They know how to handle me. No wonder they are so warm and gentle all the time. Probably coz they faced pregnant womens – u know hormonal and all. I wasn’t hormonal, far from it. I was more in pain.
Soon, I’m seeing Dr Brenda into my 4 weeks post surgery follow up coming Thursday. I shall not jinx it. Will see how things goes.
I’ve never written my goals in life because I’ve always planted that seed of my goal in my mind. However, for some reason it did not grow to become a reality. This time around, I wrote it down on a piece of paper. It was actually penned down in ink. clearly. reflecting the current situation and where I need to be 366 days later, considering a leap year, hence the extra 1 day. 😀
So here goes, till 1-1-2017 insha Allah. By Allah’s will it will be.
“Ma, if I’d knew being an actor would make one so rich, I would just be an actor and work my arse-off to earn those wealth during those days when we were not as well-off as now”. Those are my naive words recently spoken to my Mama. But that I found out SRK is one who promotes Education as being an important part of growing up 😀 So its a good thing I didn’t forsake my education and take it damn seriously till i forgot everything else.
Here I am staying up late due to work commitment in this Tech-Crazy-World, with YouTube running on my brand new SONY Blu-Ray watching King Khan, Mr Shah Rukh Khan (snapped above), and I say this with utmost respect. He is giving a speech to about 1,500 students at YALE University about life’s motivation. My recent craze of DILWALE made me Google-d “Shah Rukh Khan” specifically and it warms my heart (and it don’t matter than I’m unknown to him) that he is:
Shared the same faith as I do
He is a nice guy as much as I can read about him (least controversies, coz I find so little of it)
He does charity quitely
He is a family man who works really hard (so he deserves every bit of wealth he earns, because I strongly believe since a young age that One Reaps what One Sows)
He was granted a Doctorate from Edinburgh University
He was granted a Datuk-ship from one of the Royal State in Malaysia
And he has many more honorable awards
As at the time I wrote this few listings, he is the 2nd most richest Actor IN THE WORLD.
And his recent movie soundtrack video clip in Reykjavik, Iceland, made me want to go to Iceland.
And right now, I’m at part 2 of the Yale University talk by Shah Rukh Khan.
I am proud to be a fan of Shah Rukh Khan for his achievements that are no doubt commendable. And having watched his recent movie, DILWALE for the third time – soon to be fourth time. I am happy that the recent movie JOLTED the BOLLYWOOD FEVER madness in me which I left since almost 10 years ago. Wow!
However, on a more personal note, when Google-ing for SRK, once cannot missed the unexplainable friendship-relationship between him and Kajol. Like he puts it, there are just good friends. They are easy, comfortable just the way they are. Nobody can come between them. It kind made me miss once-upon-a-friendship which I have completely lost. But the whole thing thought me a whole lot more about life than what I thought I already knew.
I may still be naive to believe all the things I read about SRK. It don’t matter. I still believe SRK is a good man with a good heart, with good intentions. And that’s enough for me to say I’m a proud fan.
And I’m dreaming of making that Iceland trip happen this year on my birthday even if I have to go there myself on a Virgin Solo Long-Trip *insya Allah*. Then, once there, I’ll send a YouTube video dedication that SRK did somewhat touched my heart in those few motivation speech I watched him delivered at Edinburgh and Yale (via YouTube).
I have another celebrity, turned friend, whom I respect and love dearly like my brother.
I thank ALLAH SWT for all the blessings upon me and those around me.
And thank you Shah Rukh Khan for just brought back the spark in me about love, about crying, about hope. I can’t believe it came through via DILWALE. Maybe, just maybe, the reason I’m watching DILWALE again and again and again and again *at the cinema, mind you* was due to a deeper reason because it brought back a piece of me, which I lost few years back, because I was distracted over other things that I lost sight of myself.
Subhanallah…I believe what I believe.
OR if not any of the above, its just the BOLLYWOOD FEVER that hit me REALLLLLLY HARD :S
It was September of 2015 that I impulsively signed up for SCMS 2015 for the Corporate 10km-category. I wasn’t thinking much then. I figured I had ample time to pick up running again. Partly to shed some weight as I love to eat and I’m beginning to feel the impact of being overweight. So with the SCMS 2015 far in sight, it should form some kind of a motivation – like a million dollar carrot dangling in front of me.
Few weeks after, I started my badmintons and runs. As short as that statement, the new routine was even shorter. Not proud of that slacker-attitude. I got no one or nothing to blame but myself as I didn’t take notice of my goal, let it slipped through by giving priority to other things which at those time, feels more pressing.
Today, just 3 days shy of the Marathon day, I can safely say the fear has come over me. I started reading up on tips on runnig again like I did 3 months ago. Now is no more about my PHYSICAL CAPACITY to carry “80-over kilos” of mass across and around a 10km route. I MUST BE COMPLETELY INSANE!! Even I thought so myself.
Now the aim has take a twist. Ah hah! This marathon, is more of a psychological and emotional decision. That was how it started anyway. My impulsive feel triggered this so called “idea”. And this gut feel will pull me through, In Sha Allah, may ALLAH ease my every NIKE steps.
It will be a personal achievement, stepping up from my 5-km FUN RUN in SCMS 2011. Its been 4 years since. I could imagine I just double the stake and dragging double the weight. On average I might just perform exactly like how I did back then. God Forbid I don’t just collapse during the run. ALLAH, please take good care of me.
With that, I shall just “Go-For-It”! It might lead me to that healthy lifestyle yet again. In Sha Allah. Aamin.
Sometime I feel rather idiotic when I find myself questioning the very priority between my job & my life. The importance between them both are crucial. But a job, if lost, can be replaced. Maybe not as lucrative as the one lost but still manageble.
However, a life lost is simply put – irreplaceble. If I die today, next day the company will go on a hunt to replace the vacant seat. No. of days the company remembers me probably is almost close to none. But, if I die today, my family will be at a lost. Probably I’m being too dramatic but I guess the very question whether work or life is important is a question that never should have arise. Looking at the circumstances and the recent happenings in the office. I feel like a fool already to even ask myself that question.
So let’s keep that 3pm appt & let’s fix myself before I fix the mountain loads at the office.
First up, menses was back with somewhat of a vengence after all that episode of hormone pills. Then a mild cramps started creeping in. I tot that was expected – just a mild one I foresee. As prevention is better than cure, I popped some meds just to be on the safe side. I still managed to catch a late night movie with the cousins. Right after that, it went all crazy on me.
Severe cramping on the lower abdominal, flow was heavy but considerably alright by my standard 😔
It was so severe and excruciatingly painful that I can’t sleep even with heat pack, ponstan, muscle relaxant. Even panadol extra. No freaking clue what’s going on. It continued so throughout Sunday. But fortunately, managed to squeeze the trip to Pusara as promised.
Then Monday came, it was still painful. I tot the constipation plays a huge role in contributing to the awful pain. Probably it did. So best is to see Dr L. Can’t see much since my bladder was not full. Did blood test, urine test. And just went home with some antibiotics and buscopan as I was suspected of UTI. Unfortunately, the pain stays throughout Tuesday. Couldn’t stand it anymore that I went to see a GP for some stool softeners just to get my bowels moving. Ate a fair amount of vegs soup & down some Prune juice. Hours later, I was never happier to be able to POOP!!! Oh bless are those who can poop. It did sort of take the pain away, but in all that “trying times”, I pulled a different muscle and sprain my back. I think its very much connected to my tailbone (coccyx problem).
And all new episode started and now, I’m wearing that back brace just to stay straight.
Throughout it all, I haven’t had a good night sleep since Saturday night. MC ends today. Back to werk tomorrow. Out of country on Friday.
No idea how the next two-three days gonna be. But let’s hope it gets on smoothly. Insya Allah……
Bottomline: I still dunno what the whole fiasco is all about.